Friday, January 13, 2012

In this confusion.

I learned to love someone with all my life..
But there came a point where I got tired, not of loving, but of sacrificing all that I have.

Then a thought came to my mind..
I have given everything but received nothing
but pain and tears in return.

Is this enough to really prove I love that person?

Or is it a sign telling me to stop sacrificing and learn to love myself a little more?


Sometimes, the people whom we've known only for a short amount of time, have a bigger impact on us than those we've known forever.

What am I holding on to?

There are things that I don't want to think, but I can't forget.
There are things that I don't want to continue, but I'm afraid to end.
It's like I don't expect anything anymore, but I'm willing to wait.

You can always close your eyes to the things that you don't want to see, but you can never close your heart to the things that you don't want to feel. And right now, I feel terrible.

I have so much to say, but I just can't put them into words.

You may not be perfect, but you'll always be enough.

And you know what?
It's better to say something direct to the point than to keep someone guessing. Because maybe, their intepretation is different from what you really mean.
So it's either you want me back or you don't.
Don't leave me hanging there by a thin thread, because I will chase you around for awhile,
But there will come a point where I'll stop and walk away.

It's hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen, but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you want. You are my 'want'. I'm sure I've stated that clearly last night.

You said that I'd be your everything if it wasn't because of all these complications.
What complications? Life is simple, we just decided to make it complicated.

It hurts to see someone you love ignoring you, it also hurts that he doesn't feel your love. But it hurts even more that he loves you too, and just doesn't want you to know.

Maybe he's doing the same thing as me... maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him... then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him.

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. And I can't even cry anymore. I've cried too much. Feeling empty for far too long.

I miss you :( so much.
And I dunno what to do to make this hurt go away.
I wish you wanted to be with me the way I wanted to be with you.

I was much better off before I met you.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

What happened on the rooftop, stays there.

Okay lah. Damn kesian you people.. so I'm not gonna delete this blog yet haha.

MALAYSIAN NEW YEARS CELEBRATION WAS AWESOMEEE <3

Location: Major Maniam's house @ 5th Av.

Party started around 9pm-ish but I was there bout 6pm to help out with decos and stuff.

The drinking started the minute people started arriving :D I had one at the beginning... and the rest.. well.

Piccies!

Kawan from Sri Ramachandra Dental :)

Batchmates :D

The boys :)

How did i look? ;)

Some of 'em girlies.

halfway to my journey of highness, I got a bike ride frm one of em seniors.
Hence, my very super duper elated face:


Fire crackers were waaaayyyy too loud.

oops hahah terbalik.

Mr Bartender <3

We had like 9 full bottles of liquor. Smirnoff.. whiskey..


Dancin'

But it sort of drizzled a lil.. so we continued our party in the house.

Towards midnight, everyone was soooooo fcking high.
Some started dancing like mad.. some were emotional.. some were happy.. some were just dying on the couch.

ahaha. see?
There were ppl shouting frm the rooftop..
and some were doing shit with their phones, calling ppl saying IM NOT DRUNKKKKK!!!!!
I think a fight almost happened :S
I was being happy, sitting around :P

But yeah, I'm not proud to say..
I was wasted. Again.

2 raw shots of Bacardi.
And cups and cups and cups of coke+liquor.

We stayed over at the place..
Wide awake and sober til 3am-ish?
:)

I realised that I tend to wake up early after a long night.
Got up around 8 this morning feeling awesome :)

I had fun though. like, massively. :D

I hope u had a good new years too!

This year:
Let the wrong ones go.
Let the old dreams die.
Let the right ones in.
<3